Eulogy and Memorial Slideshow for Kelly Stearne

I put together a short slideshow of pictures and even some video of Kelly and showed at his Memorial here in Adelaide on Sunday, 29 May.  

The soundtrack were all among Kelly's favourites.  

Early years - Yesterday by Lennon and McCartney, performed by The Beatles

Curling years - We Are the Champions by Freddie Mercury, performed by Queen

Canadian years - With a Little Help from My Friends by Lennon and McCartney, performed by Joe Cocker

Aussie years - Theme from The Last Waltz by Robbie Robertson, performed by The Band

Please have  look.

Also, here is the Eulogy I wrote for my brother:

Thank you for coming along today to help remember and celebrate the life of John Timothy Kelly Stearne – that really was his full name.

In particular, thanks to people from the walking group, the coffee shop, the Port Adelaide and Woodville Bowling Clubs, and his Aussie family and friends.

Kelly was my brother and I loved him dearly.  I will miss him.  His loss hasn’t left a hole in my life -  it’s left more of a crater.

Kelly and I were both born in Calgary, Canada.  We were always close.  We did all of the things kids and teens do together, school, sports, shenanigans … we shared the same circle of friends.

Our parents were both teachers and they loved to travel over the 2-month summer holiday each year.  Way back it was camping in a tent, then caravanning, they took us to Europe when we were tweens.  Thus began Kelly’s lifelong fascination for and love of travel.  He set foot on every continent except Antarctica and he must’ve visited half of the countries in the world.  He had a dream that one day he’d open a little coffee shop with travel books that people could come in a read and plan their next holiday … or maybe it was a travel agency that served coffee.  Unfortunately he couldn't make decent coffee, but he loved to drink it though.  I reckon his home away from home became Café Latino in Belmore Terrace, right across the railway tracks from his place.  The coffee there is great by the by.

In high school Kelly made the boy’s curling team.  Curling is essentially lawn bowls on ice and Kelly was good at it.  Very good.  He and his team mates won the Canadian Schoolboy and Junior championships in 1975 and 1977, and the world junior championships in 1976 and 1978.  The schoolboy team seemed destined for greatness and from the age of 16 or 17 Paul, Neil, Glen and Kelly were mixing it with the men … and winning.  They won just about all there was to win, cash prizes, cars and trophies.

They were probably the first curling professionals, winning enough so they didn’t really need to work.  And they had way too much fun driving all over western Canada in Paul’s van playing for money and beating the old farts …. guys.

They were all bit long haired and non-conformist.  Hec Gervais (one of the older guys on the circuit) once said of Paul Gowsell, the skip; “With two haircuts he’d be a decent curler.”

In 1980 the boys stepped up into the men’s competition and finished 3^rd in the Canadian Championships (The Brier).  Everyone expected that they would bounce back and win the next one or go on to win at the Olympics.  But they all just seemed to lose interest and Paul, Neil and Glen all went off to do other things and Kelly developed a few health issues.

Kelly continued play in the men’s Super League (like our Premier League in bowls), he did some coaching and played in a range of other teams for fun. 

The Gowsell team did reform for one last open cash bonspiel in November last year when Kelly re-joined his old buddies in Vancouver, BC.  For the record they did win 3 games and lost 2.  They did win the door prize, which was a refund of their entry fee!

Kelly studied leisure education at college and uni, and he worked in the disability sector organising recreation and sports programs for clients of the Developmental Disability Resource Centre in Calgary.  DDRC was his only real job ever and he loved it.

So he worked with disabled kids, travelled extensively (with his mate Jimmy), and continued to have as much fun as possible.

Kelly did not enjoy the best of health.  In fact, in the game of life, he was dealt a pretty crummy hand:

-              In his late 20s he developed epilepsy.  It was well controlled for a few years.

-              In 1992 he travelled to Central America and picked up Hepatitis A and some weird bacterial gut infection that caused intestinal perforations and bleeding.  He developed a super-high fever, his liver failed and he lapsed into a coma for about 2 weeks.  We all thought he would die, and I flew back to Canada to support Mum and Dad.  But he didn’t die.  I remember seeing him when he came out of the coma and he was a bit groggy, but he looked at me and said, “God, I must be sick for you to be here!”  He always had a sense of humour.

-              In the end he needed a couple of operations to stop the internal bleeding … and then his epilepsy returned and became virtually uncontrollable.

-              He did get married in 1993 to Judy (a fellow curler he’d met at the Brier 1980).

-              However his epilepsy steadily worsened and in 1994 he needed brain surgery to remove the bit that was causing seizures. The surgery was a success …

-              Unfortunately, he had a stroke after the operation that left him with some short term memory problems – he could never remember anyone’s name (especially if he met you after ‘94) and he had trouble finding words.

-              His marriage ended in 2000.  He never had any children and he moved back to Mum’s place and was living in her basement suite until she died in 2003.

-              Due to the seizures he had quite a few nasty falls fracturing his eye socket on one occasion (that left him with almost permanent double-vision) and fracturing his jaw and smashing up his teeth another time.

Now in spite of all of this he remained an enjoy every sandwich kind of guy.  Everyone that knew him describes him as always positive, smiling and trying to crack a joke.  Let me tell you his jokes were much better before his stroke when he could remember … uhhh that thing you say at the end that makes people laugh uhhhhh …. It’s called a push something … Begins with a ‘P’ anyways … yeah, the punch line.  That’s right.  It’s pretty tough to tell a good joke when you can’t get the punchline out, but that never stopped him from trying, did it?

After Mum passed away, he decided (well, we decided) it might be a good idea for him to move to Australia to be closer to his remaining family (specifically me, Deb and our boys).  It was not a straightforward thing, but with some persistence and a couple of dozen letters to various pollies he got a Permanent Resident visa and came out here to live in 2005.

He rented at Alberton for a couple of years, then we bought a unit at Woodville where he lived a short 2 km walk from me.  Well, it was a short walk for Kelly, as he was a walking nut.  He couldn’t drive due to the epilepsy and vision problems.  He had a bike but I didn’t want him to ride it for the same reasons.  So he walked, and walked, and walked … everywhere.  A day trip for him might include a stroll to Glelenlg, then into the city and perhaps West Lakes or Semaphore or Port Adelaide.  He did use the buses and trains if he got tired or if the weather turned nasty.  Some of you probably saw him walking around the neighbourhood and offered him a lift on more than one occasion I’m sure.

Given his curling background I thought lawn bowls might be just the thing.  I even thought that there may be some transferrable skills … but maybe not.  He did enjoy bowls, probably more the companionship than the competition.

He was always happy to spend some time at the club putting a few bowls down, having a ginger beer (he couldn’t drink real beer due to his meds) and just chatting to people.

In recent years Kelly and I fell into a routine of catching up for dinner Monday, Wednesday and Thursday.  For the last 10+ years Wednesday night was our family and friends’ dinner.  Saturdays was our day for bowls or footy or a walk and on Sundays we’d have lunch over a game of cribbage at a pub or restaurant.  He was a good card player, more strategic than I am.  I’ll miss the cards.

Kelly went out for a late night walk on Saturday 7 May.  He fell and hit his head pretty hard.  He lost consciousness.  Probably because he’d had previous surgery and other skull fractures, he was susceptible to head injury.  He never regained consciousness and passed away very peacefully on Monday 9 May.  My son (Jack Kelly) and I were with him at the end.

Kelly was a good gift giver.  He spent ages researching and working out the perfect gift, card and wrapping.  So it shouldn’t surprise anyone that he became an organ donor and his big ol’ kindly heart, liver, kidneys, pancreas and corneas are hopefully are doing someone some good right now.

He was a good man and the best brother you could ever want.  He drove me nuts sometimes, but I hope and pray that he saw more love from me, and for others, than he saw frustration.

The world is just so much the poorer without him.

I’d like to ask Father Conrad Paterson to say a prayer for Kelly and those left to remember him, and then I’d like you to watch a little movie I made.

  

Coach

The mother f one of the boys Kelly coached wrote to me and said;

"I loved his sense of humour and his fun way of interacting with both adults and the kids. He was honest, kind, generous, reliable, and very low key. He never got excited or flustered when the kids made mistakes and never criticized them. He would simply say maybe next time in that situation you might try….My son was not the easiest kid to coach and I am sure he would never have lasted with anyone else but he and Kelly had an unusual bond that never was broken."

Kelly and Harold Climbed a Mountain

Needless to say we were saddened to hear of Kelly's passing. He was your brother and my friend.

On hearing the news I immediately thought of this photo.

It was in 1976 and you, Rob, Kelly and I were backpacking in the Kananaskis. The photo below shows Kelly during an attempted climb of Fortress Mountain. For some reason you and Rob decided to stay in camp.

Kelly and I didn’t make it to the top but we climbed as high as we could before meeting an insurmountable cliff. I remember thinking that this was the highest elevation I'd yet achieved in the mountains. The fact that Kelly decided to give it a try is indicative of his quiet enthusiasm to try new things.

I also remember driving with you in downtown Calgary when they announced that Kelly and his curling crew had won a major curling event (I believe it was one of the times they were crowned World Junior Curling champs). Needless to say you were overjoyed at your younger brother's accomplishment and were very proud of him, as were we all (I seem to recall a lot of honking). It's not everyone who can claim they have a brother or friend who's a world champ!

He'll be sorely missed by so many. May wonderful memories give you comfort during this time of sorrow and reflection.

Joyce Donald Remembers Kelly

As you know Kelly knew Gary long before I was in the picture. They had a relationship that was pure crazy friendship. Nonjudgmental, as neither one was a saint by any means but in heart pretty darn close. It was a blast and a rare (as in nothing like it) occasion to share several weekends with the Scuttlebutt gang in their Calgary Condo.

My parents warned me about hanging out with the likes of these fellows but sometimes our hearts let us see deeper into the true character when we allow it. Even my parents grew to love these characters! From mixed curling bonspiels, camping(and getting kicked out of Crimson lake campground annually), groomsman at our wedding, getting taken in by the Stearne family as newlyweds in Calgary, being there to celebrate every milestone such as eight births, Kelly has earned a permanent spot in the Donald Family. Every child of ours knows how much he truly cares about each one of them. Even our Grandchildren have books that will keep his memory and smiles on our faces for the rest of our years as we read to them.


With heavy hearts we say farewell but celebrate a life well lived with joy and adventure. We love you and cherish the time and friendship that we were given through you.


Until we meet again Kelly alias Shoosh Mogleman,


CHEERS!


Joyce, one lucky gal that is so fortunate to be able to be called a friend of yours.

Kathi Gowsell Remembers Kelly

When I first met Kelly, people called him Kelly Bear. There’s probably some true story that someone knows about why but, as far as I was concerned, it was always because Kelly was that big, lovable presence that made you smile. All you had to do was look at him.

I was lucky enough to travel along to Europe when Kelly and Paul, joined by Doug McFarlane and John Ferguson, represented Canada at the World Juniors in Grindelwald, Switzerland. I’m not sure if the boys’ win was the highlight or if it was travelling parts of Europe with Dave and Kelly.

After the curling, we said our good-byes to a whole gang of kids who had travelled over together with the understanding that if there was anyone left around on May 1st , we would meet at the Athens Airport at 1 p.m.

The four of us left Grindelwald on a high, knowing that the CBC was going to contact the boys to play in the CBC Curling Classic. It would be an interruption of our trip but it was also considered a real honour to be invited into that prestigious event. We trained it across the north of Italy, all the while looking to rent a car. None of the car rental agencies wanted to risk renting to this young group of Canadians until we reached Trieste, Italy. There we found a sympathetic agency owner who had been to Canada and off we drove in a tiny FIAT 124.  Singing “Vooolaaari, woe hoe” (You have to sing this part)

We had made our way down the coast of, then Yugoslavia, to Dubrovnik, passing amazing castles, paying off some intimidating law enforcement-types, staying in posh hotels for under the equivalent of about 17.00 a night and drinking the small hotel lobby lounges out of beer. That’s where we found ourselves on the date Paul agreed to call the big wigs at CBC. When Paul found out they’d only fly him in for the spiel and not Kelly, the deal was off. They were a team. And that was that.

We parted ways at that point, Dave and Kelly had their plans and we had ours. Come May 1st , Paul and I were around so we decided to honour the pact to meet anyone else that was still traveling. We made our way to Athens airport at 1 p.m., wondering if we’d see anyone at all. Then around the corner came Dave and Kelly.

We were ecstatic and took them back to the pensione we were staying in that was just a few blocks from the Parthenon and guess what? No room at the inn. But, “if you don’t mind, we can accommodate you on the roof.” What the heck, it was all part of the adventure. So, we spent our evenings on a rooftop in Athens, drinking ouzo and singing with the Stearne brothers. It’s still one of my favourite memories of that trip.

But, real life goes on and we had to go home. At home the boys reunited with Neil Houston and Glen Jackson to take on the curling cash circuit. We all know how that went. One win, I distinctly remember was the $10,000 prize in the Bandon, Manitoba spring spiel. When they got home, I went to the bank with Paul to cash the cheque. He asked for the money in cash, in small bills. He stuffed the cash into a bag and we drove over to Kelly’s house. Once in the living room with Kelly
and Mr. and Mrs. Stearne (their biggest fans), Paul reached into the bag and threw all that cash up into the air. Paul and Kelly, laughed with joy as they picked it all up. It was quite a windfall for all those young 20-somethings.

It wasn’t long after that, that Kelly’s health challenges started. I was always amazed at how he handled it all with such grace. Kelly looked at life as one big adventure story and he decided, that no matter what life threw at him, it was going to be a cheerful tale.

He was a world traveller and he made friends wherever he went. One Christmas, he sent out fridge magnets in his card with the quote, “I’ll get by with a little help from my friends.” Ours is still on the fridge and it will remain there. It’s Kelly’s reminder that life is all about friends and family, for, who are we without our connections?

Thank you for that reminder, Kelly. We were so fortunate to have you among ours and will continue to feel your connection through the joyful memories you’ve brought to our lives. 

Until we meet again, you are in our prayers.

Kathi Gowsell

Mystery Stew and Other Stories

From Gary Donald

It was September of 1979 when I first met Kelly. We had both enrolled in the Leisure Education Diploma Program at Mount Royal College in Calgary. I think that it was our offbeat sense of humor, creative thinking and spontaneous nature that made us hit it off so well and to develop a lifelong friendship that has lasted 36 years. We had many memorable adventures together through those years.  We shared a residence in Calgary for a few years after college along with our good friend and college classmate Ed Ball. We referred to the home as Scuttlebutt Lodge and had many memorable times there. “If the walls could only talk!”.  Kelly was not known for his cleaning ability but I must say that he was quite the connoisseur in the kitchen. It was Kelly that introduced us to mystery stew! Kelly would tear the labels off the cans in the cupboard and then randomly select a ½ dozen of them and mix them into one pot! We had some interesting results to say the least!

Kelly and I had a number of adventures together! (Honestly, I'm surprised we survived some of those!)  One memorable or should I say “slightly memorable” trip that we had in the early 80’s to Penticton still sticks in my mind. Kelly introduced me to “Vikings”. I am not talking about his ancestors but rather another one of Kelly’s creative concoctions that he mixed in a picnic jug to take to the beach. It consisted of a bottle of Scotch, a bottle of Kahlua, mixed with enough milk and ice to fill the jug. (Delicious and nutritious but potent!).  I lost the better part of a day and a night I will never get back. All that I know for sure is that we started at the beach in the afternoon with our picnic jug of Vikings and I woke up doing the breast stroke in a motel swimming pool in the middle of the night with no one else around and I was still in my shorts and t shirt. To this day, I have no idea how I got there or where it was! There was a locked compound around the pool and I had to climb over the fence to get out. I rang the night buzzer to awaken the motel manager and stood there dripping wet in the lobby while I asked him two very important questions. First of all I asked if he would please call me a cab and secondly I asked if he could tell me where I was! When I finally got back to the camp site where we were staying after I figured out where I was, I discovered that Kelly was not there. He arrived by cab later in the morning after being let out of a cell @ the police station. When he was released, he said he saw my shoes there but didn't see me so he wasn't sure where I was.  Life lesson learned:  “Beware of the Viking! “.

As I mentioned earlier, Kelly and I had a common bond of offbeat humor, creative thinking and spontaneity. I believe that it was on this same trip that the wind shield wipers quit working on my not so classic 1977 Ford LTD while we were travelling during a rainstorm. This proved to be only  a minor setback as we pulled over, took the laces out of our sneakers and tied laces to each of the wiper blades, strung them through the  opened driver and passenger windows and Kelly sat in the passenger seat  with a lace in each hand, pulling the wipers back and forth with the shoe laces. I was a bit wet and breezy in the car but the windows were clear! We got some interesting looks when stopped at red lights as Kelly worked his magic!

Kelly and I came up with some top notch business ideas over the years as well.  Do you remember the electronic game called “Simon” where there were 4 colors that would flash in various sequences and you had to replicate the sequence? Kelly had the idea to make a similar game with only one color and we would call it “Simple Simon”. The man was brilliant!  Another brilliant business idea was born out of a trip that we took to Edmonton from Calgary one summer day! We decided to take the back roads and stop at every small town that we came to and have a pint of draft beer at their local establishment. The trip took us a good 12 hours but it was enlightening! We thought it would be a great endeavor to travel the province of Alberta, stopping at every drinking establishment for a pint of draft beer and to rate the establishment on service, décor, entertainment  and cleanliness. We were going to call our book “The Draft Dodgers Guide to Alberta”!  Kelly had some other incredible “hidden” talents such as hanging spoons from his face, juggling, and balancing a curling broom on his nose.

Over the years, Kelly has been an integral part of my life and the life of Joyce, and our children and most recently, our grandchildren. He was the best man at our wedding and has been very much a part of our family’s life over the years! He even sent gifts from Australia to our grandchildren when they were born. In true Kelly fashion, he sent story books to our grandchildren entitled “Dinosaurs Wear Underpants” and “Pirates Wear Under pants”. I have countless stories and precious memories of Kelly. At the mention of his name I get this huge smile on my face! Kelly was a gentle soul. He always had time for others and despite the health issues that he face which robbed him of many of the activities that he loved to participate in, he never complained! He loved life and he loved being with friends and family. He was the ultimate optimist and took on each day with a smile and kind word or act towards everyone he would meet! We will certainly miss him but he will remain in our hearts and our memories forever! He was and forever will be a special part of my family and I! God Bless!

Algeciras

Kelly and I travelled through Europe in 1978 by train.  We decided we wanted to visit Morocco, so we ended up in the Spanish port town of Algeciras.

We checked into a hotel and went out on the town for a few beers.  For some bizarre reason the Spanish pubs always served beer in little 80 or 90 ml glasses. Kelly and I wanted a decent sized beer, so we found this little place that was playing English music (the owner was playing a tape of some UK radio station) and we boldly asked for, "Dos cervezas grandes, por favor".

The bartender reached under the bar and found two very large mugs.  They looked like chamber pots.  We were the toast of the bar.  Everyone wanted to chat to the two crazy Anglos drinking giant beers.  And because we wanted to show everyone that we didn't think these beers were that big, we ordered a second round!

We met some mail order brides and their dodgy chaperone, and our best mate in the entire world ... or so it seemed after we'd downed two chamber pots of beer each.

Our new best mate wanted to know why were in town.  We told him we were planning to take the ferry to Tangiers in the morning.  "Why wait?", asked out new buddy, "We can go tonight!".

Looking back on this now, after almost 38 years have passed.  I realise this was code for, "Why don't you let me take you down to a secluded area in the docks so I can rob you two drunken idiots?"

Well we went with Pedro, or whatever his name was and headed down to the marina, then he vanished!  Which was coincidental, as just then two Spanish Civil Guards started yelling at us and waving their machine guns around.  They didn't speak good English, but it was pretty clear they wanted to know what the hell we were  doing stumbling around the docks in the middle of the night.

We told them that a guy was going to take us to Morocco.  They were not impressed and suggested the ferry in the morning was a better bet and that we should leave the marina immediately or we would be arrested. 

I don't know if this happens to you, but sometimes when I've had a few too many beers I kinda slur my words slightly.  Kelly was keenly aware of this, and had a brilliant strategy.  He pretended he was an English lord with an incredibly posh accent.  So Kelly puts on his Prince Charles accent and says to the policeman / soldier, "My good man.  There is no need to be rude.  Would you kindly direct us to the Hotel Europa."

I still remember the guard looking at us like we were insane, and then motioning ever so slightly with the tip of his machine gun to the building across the street.  Yep, we were only about 60 metres away.

And that was the end of our night in Algeciras.  We were a little worse for wear the following morning, but we didn't get robbed and we made the ferry.

Memorial for Kelly - 29 May @ Woodville Bowling Club from 2PM

Streaking

Streaking was a thing back in the 70s.  For some reason taking all of your clothes off and running around or through some place was fun.

CFCN

Kelly got involved early, and apparently set some kind of record for streaking on the coldest night every recorded (-30C).  I was there.  Two carloads of boys drove up to CFCN. Three or four guys stripped off and tried to run through the TV station.

But the night didn't quite go as planned.

Problem One - The doors to the station were locked, so all the guys could do was smile and wave at the receptionist, and run around outside in the freezing cold.

Problem Two - Kelly jumped into the wrong getaway car.  His clothes were in one car and I was driving the other.  So I had a naked brother sitting in my back-seat.  At least the car was warm.

Problem Three - The CFCN news guys thought this might be a story, so they hopped in a car and gave chase.  We must've driven 40 kms than night, in the freezing cold with a naked guy in the back-seat, until the news crew gave up.

JBs

This was another night that didn't quite go as planned.  A group decided to streak through a local restaurant.  Things went smoothly to start off.  The group of 5 went in the front doors, ran past the reception counter, then through the restaurant and out the fire exit.  Well 4 of us did.  Rick for some reason tried to do a second lap of the restaurant, and headed back for the front door.  The manager grabbed him, tossed him in the freezer and called the cops.  A good friend of mine (part of the organising committee) was incensed that Rick had been mistreated and that the police were going to arrest him.  We'll call this guy Lars, and he started to argue with and threaten the manager and even the constables that had turned up. As Lars remembers this episode, Kelly was able to drag him away just before the cops decided they would arrest him as well as naked Rick.

University Heights

Yet another streaking episode that didn't turn out as some had planned.  On this night Kelly, me and two other guys were out.  One of the guys had never streaked and was a bit nervous.  The ring-leader on this night persuaded JM and me to do a bit of a residential streak in University Heights.  There was snow all around and it was well below zero.

JM and I stripped off and went for a run down the street and around the corner for about 200 metres.  We turned around and ran back the car ... except there was no car.  Kelly and DB had driven off and left us stranded.  There was nowhere to hide and nothing much we could do except wait for them to have their laughs and come back.

I'm sure it was only 5 or 10 minutes, but it felt like hours.  Then we saw headlights coming.  Relief!  Until we saw that it wasn't our car with our clothes.  It turned out to be a guy we'd both gone to high school with and his girlfriend.  JM and I tried to be very nonchalant, you know like we often ran around naked in the suburbs at night in the middle of winter.

The conversation went something like:

Gary (the driver) - Hey JM and Dave!  Haven't seen you since high school.  What're you guys doin?

Me - Oh, we just went of a bit of a streak, you know.

Girlfriend - Where are your clothes?

JM - They're in the getaway car.

Everyone looks around as if we've all somehow failed to notice another car.

Girlfriend - Well, where is it?

Me - Our friends have driven off as a bit of a joke and left us.

Girlfriend - Aren't you cold?

Me - (Glancing down) Well yeah!

Gary's lovely girlfriend wanted to take us home to her place as she thought her Dad had some clothes that would've fit us.  That would've been interesting ... "Dad I found these two naked boys out in the snow, can they borrow your pants?".

In any event Kelly and DB did turn up both laughing their heads off at JM and me.  Kelly had a wicked sense of humour.

I'm not saying the guys in these pictures were involved ... but one or two of them might've been.

More Curling Stories

Neil Houston sent me a couple of great stories from the olden days.

At the closing banquet for the 1980 Brier, Kelly was able to get all 1,500 attendee’s
to join a conga line he decided to lead singing his hit song, “Singing in the
Rain.”

Paul, Neil, Glen and Kelly won the 1977 Vernon Carspiel, where every team member earned a brand new Datsun. The problem was Kelly was too young to have a driver’s license so Dave had to fly out from Calgary to drive Kelly’s car home ... through a blizzard.

Neil delivered a stone, poorly. Paul yelled for the sweepers to go. Neil yelled for the 
sweepers to go. Glen says to Kelly, “We gotta go”. Kelly stands up and says, “Well, I 
guess that makes it unanimous.”

Kelly, Glen and Neil go to a tournament in Regina. On the first day, they win two and 
then lose the third game. Then, they are invited to a birthday party. They return to 
the hotel a tad late. They are scheduled to play at noon. Neil wakes up, looks at the 
clock and asks if the clock says 11:56. Kelly wakes up and says no. Neil relaxes. 
Then, Kelly continues, “It says 11:57.”

Carol Davis remembers another curling story ... we sort of:

My most "fun" memory of Kelly was at a bonspiel in Kelowna.  Our team had been knocked out.  His team had been knocked out.  A large-ish party broke out in several adjoining rooms of the hotel.  I am a quiet, kinda shy person, and it never occurred to me that I would be thrown out of a hotel. 


It all started with Kelly showing up with the biggest slingshot ever made.  It could have launched a cannonball and taken down a buffalo.  As it was, we had no cannonballs, but water balloons were launched from the balcony, and travelled a few city blocks.  Somehow suspicion turned to us, as people were hit left, right and centre on the streets below. 


In true Kelly fashion, he took all the blame (well-deserved I might add!) and insisted I had nothing to do with it all.  I merely proved to be a coachable student, fascinated at the physics of it all.  I was solemnly escorted back to my room by security but was not thrown out.  I cannot attest to what happened to Kelly that night.  😂

Party tricks

Kelly's friend Mike Moss sent me some stories of the various party tricks and quirks that Kelly was infamous for.  In no particular order:

• Theme ends in curling, only in-turns or out-turns or take outs or ... eyes closed.  Kelly apparently made a last rock hit and stay for 3 or 4 to win in a game club he skipped.

• Elevator parties at the Holiday Inn.  You had to ride the elevator until you finished your beer, then you could get off ... provided you were wearing a hat.

• Balancing a curling broom by the handle on your nose.  

• Ordering drinks from the bar and having them delivered down on the ice during a game.

• Beatles only on the car radio, so you had to be really quick swapping the tapes over.

Sense of humour

When two of my nephews heard that Kelly had died, they both sent me a note about how funny he was when they met him back in 1983.  They both thought he was absolutely hilarious.  

In the photo you can see his head, but those are my hands.  He was controlling the little legs and feet with his hands, so he looked like a ventriloquist's dummy.

He always enjoyed a good joke and used to tell some great stories.

He was a shopper

Kelly was always able to find the perfect gifts and best, most hilarious cards.    We all appreciated the time, thought and leg-work he put into everyone's gift - a rare talent in these days of cash gifts and vouchers.

Debbie Stearne

Curling stories

In High School, Kelly teamed up with some very talented boys that won a few games.

He played played with Paul Gowsell, Neil Houston, Glen Jackson in 75 and 76.  

The team was reconfigured in 77 as two of the boys were too old to play as juniors, and the other two were too young to play as men.  In 77 and 78 Paul and Kelly recruited John Ferguson and Doug MacFarlane.

They had some success:

• 1975 - Canadian Schoolboy Championships (Edmonton, Alberta)
• 1976 - World Junior Curling Championships (Aviemore, Scotland)
• 1977 - Canadian Junior Championships (Winnipeg, Manitoba)
• 1978 - World Junior Championships (Grindelwald, Switzerland)

In 79 the original team re-formed and they toured around western Canada (and elsewhere) entering and winning cash bonspiels.  In 1980, they represented Alberta in the Brier (Canadian Curling Championships) finishing third.


Over those years they played hard, and probably partied harder.  They had fun.

Here are a couple of my favourite stories from back in the day.

Can sleep anywhere

At the Canadian Schoolboy Championships in Edmonton Kelly and Neil shared a room.  In the night Kelly got up to investigate a knock at the door (or maybe he went sleepwalking).  He managed to lock himself out of the hotel room wearing nothing but his undies.  As I remember the story, one of the coaches found him leaning against the hotel room door, on his feet, but sound asleep.

Pizza

The pizza story seems to have almost legendary status.  As I heard it told, the boys had qualified to play in the final at a cash-spiel in Winnipeg.  They were scheduled to play the final 30 minutes after winning their semi-final game.  The cafeteria was swamped as 1000+ fans all wanted a coffee and a something to eat.  The boys didn't have time to line up for cafeteria food, and the organisers wouldn't delay the start of the game as they had a big crowd that wanted to see some action.

So the boys ordered pizza and had it delivered during the game.  The pizza delivery guy walked down the rink in front of 1000 spectators and handed over the box.  The boys paid and ate their fill between shots.  Paul even offered the opposing skip a slice.

The Gowsell team went on to win the game, and the $10,000 prize.  The opposing skip (Larry McGrath) claims he lost because one of his stones picked up an olive and stopped short.

Calgary Curler Kelly Stearne Dies at 57

Calgary Herald (11 May 2016)

You wait here ...

Everyone I know loves this story about Kelly travelling in Hong Kong with his mate Jimmy.  The boys ventured into a Go-Go bar and bought themselves a couple of beers.  The bar girls were very friendly, so they order a round of drinks for them as well.  

After two rounds, Kelly suggests it might be time to head off.  The bill arrives and the beers are $50 each and the ladies drinks about the same.

Kelly is outraged and swears there is now way he is paying $100 for two beers.  So he storms off and as he’s headed for the door he shouts out to James;

“You wait here, I’ll get the police!”

I think Jimmy paid.  Cheers.

Magnets

Circa 2004 Kelly and I (with the help of family and friends) cleaned out the family home so we could sell it.  We held a garage sale that was almost too successful.  Kelly and I were waiting on a few phone calls playing cribbage in the empty house.  We’d sold all of the furniture, TVs and radios … I think we only had one chair to sit on.

The phone rings, the crib board gets tipped over and the little metal cribbage pegs fell down the heating vent in the floor.  I could get my hand in and touch them, but couldn’t pick them up. I said, “If only I had a magnet …”

Kelly reaches into his pocket and pulls out a really strong neodymium magnet.  I have no idea why he had a magnet in his pocket, but he did.  The cribbage pegs were retrieved and the game restarted.

When we were kids

This was a photo I always wanted to recreate ... but Kelly couldn't remember the song

CHEESE

Parkas have always been cool

Did they only have food for one?

John Timothy Kelly Stearne

Here are some memories from his family and friends, for his family and friends.